December is one tough month! Especially for a first time pre-toddler, full-time, work-from-home mom like myself. How does one do it?

Our sleep cycle has gone haywire. We haven’t had 8 hours of straight sleep in weeks since we’ve celebrated Tuz’s first birthday, Tuz has grown more and more active and restless each passing day (or shall we say each passing night because that’s when he is awake from evening til morning the next day), all the other things we wish to do on the side (like make more soaps, blog some more, make business plans, attend seminars, read books or even just a simple day trip somewhere) haven’t been an option lately because we’re already over fatigued from running after Tuz inside and outside of the house and then we try to catch sleep in the afternoon until he wakes us up and then we take turns  taking care of him again, finishing work and doing chores at night.

Introducing new pre-toddler activities to Tuz so he can get busy and we can have more time to finish our work as well. 

We are just thankful that Tuz seems to be healthy despite all this; Mahal and I’s health are okay as well, just the occasional cough and colds when we are not able to sleep well for a few days; and of course I am grateful for my job and all the work that comes in because at least the utility bills, insurances and mortgages always get paid on time and we always have something a little extra for either medical stuff, emergencies, savings, travels or investments. So with that, we are grateful despite the fact that we are soooo effing tired and sleep-deprived.

This was us attending the MAXGXL Leadership Training and New Associate Orientation in Stotsenberg Hotel, Clark two weekends ago. We’ve been sleep-deprived the whole week before the training that we needed to sleep at a nearby gas station to make sure we can go home safely afterwards. There are 9 more training seminars we need to attend after this to get to know the business better but we just couldn’t find the time and energy right now. Soon… hopefully. Coz their products are really effective and we want to leverage on that for  future passive income. 

I remember back in December 2015, I wrote about postpartum depression which I’ve republished here in August 2016. It’s about having tremendous feelings of sadness despite the fact that we are blessed with a healthy little angel. I was tired, yes, like all new mothers are — tired from lack of sleep, from breastfeeding, from the pain on my nipples from too much sucking and pain brought about by the emergency caesarian section I had, tired from all the surge of hormones in my body, tired from all the changes, physiologically, psychologically, emotionally and mentally that I was going through.

It’s December once again and now our baby is already a pre-toddler and no, I’m not having postpartum depression. At least I don’t think so…

After two weeks of slowly setting up the house Christmas decors, we’re finally done. 

During our supposed sleeping time last weekend, we managed to gather extra energy to head out and buy my nephew Cyphil his Christmas gift. We got one for his older brother Dominic as well. Notice my huge eyebags? 

… But oh my, I’ve just entered a new level of stress and fatigue zone from trying to be everything — a partner, a mom, an employee, a house helper and so many other roles in between. Mahal is not doing any better. He is zombified as well. It’s only now that we appreciate our baby Tuz’s infancy when he would practically sleep all day and all he would fuss about was getting his breastmilk or milk from a bottle or pacifier and poof! He’s asleep again! Then Mahal and I can continue whatever it was we were doing in peace (like finishing tasks at work, doing chores, spending quality time with each other, traveling, etc.). Now, we haven’t got a moment’s rest and I would just catch myself crying! I cry while trying to watch TV, while taking Tuz for a walk down the stairs, when reading a book in the loo, when cleaning the house, when talking to Mahal, when trying to sleep. My eyes would just well up and cry buckets of tears… I’m not yet sure if this is another stage of postpartum depression. I don’t feel depressed or sad and I recognize all the blessings that come our way like the constant flow of work and income, having the best and most generous client/employer I could ever have, the fact that I’ve never been sick this year (thanks to all the vitamins and health supplements we took before and MAXGXL Glutathione Accelerator that we’ve been taking since September), that Mahal and I are going strong  despite all the hardships of being new parents, that we are able to do all our primary roles and responsibilities at home.

I’m always thankful for my VA jobs. I always get the best client / employer ever.

T‌hinking hard about it now, and reading similar stories from parents of toddlers, maybe this is just really from pure fatigue and stress. They say it will get better as Tuz keeps growing. His sleep cycle will stabilize and as soon as we get a house helper or a babysitter, then things would be better. I am hopeful about his sleep cycle getting better. As for the house helper or babysitter, we still haven’t had any luck. But we will keep looking.

Anyway, I would just like to start this week with a fresh blog post to keep the momentum going as I am still finishing several other blog posts in draft mode, one of which is about my experience with Black Pearl Cleopatra Mask that I’ve been getting comments and messages about.

Stay tuned and thanks for continuing to read about my journey. It helps to write about my struggles every now and then. 🙂