Iāve always been strong.
I run businesses, albeit small.
I take care of my family.
I show up for everyone.
And I know Iām not the only one.
A lot of momsā¦ a lot of wivesā¦ are like this.
We carry so much.
We keep going, even when weāre tired.
We hold everything together, even when weāre quietly falling apart inside.
And sometimes, we donāt even realize how much weāve been carryingā¦
until something breaks us open.
Writing the story of Baby Lux has been one of the most emotional things I have ever done.
In the span of a few weeks, we experienced hope, fear, confusion, grief, surgery, and healing.
We learned how fragile life can be.
We learned how strong love can be.
And we learned that sometimes the deepest wounds also reveal the deepest parts of our hearts.
Baby Lux was with us for only a short time.
But that short time changed us.
Our family will never be the same again.
And strangelyā¦ that is not entirely a sad thing.
Because in the middle of losing a child, we also discovered something powerful: How deeply we love each other.
And just when I was ready to give up on the precious act of lovemaking, something unexpected has been happening to me these past few days.
And Iām almost embarrassed to admit it out loud…
Continue reading
(The Final Chapter of the Baby Lux Story)
The night before the surgery was the night we were admitted through the Emergency Room.
Everything had happened so quickly ā the unexpected ultrasound results, the doctorās explanation about a possible molar pregnancy, the sudden instruction to go straight to the hospital.
By the time we were finally settled into our room, all three of us were emotionally drained.
Continue reading
That afternoon, I began quietly counting the minutes.
Around 1:30 p.m., I kept glancing at the clock. We had originally been told that I might be wheeled to the operating room around 2:00 p.m., but one of the resident doctors had also warned me earlier that my OB still had other patients scheduled before me.
So it might be 3:00 p.m.
Or even 4:00 p.m.
Still, the waiting made every minute feel longer.
Nurses came in and out of the room throughout the afternoon, checking my blood pressure, oxygen levels, and asking the usual questions. Each time the door opened, I wondered if it was finally time.
At 3:30 p.m., the gurney finally arrived.
Continue reading
Part 1 ended with us entering the hospital not knowing exactly what the next hours would bring.
Morning came anyway.
And with it came the quiet understanding that the day ahead would ask us to let go of the life we had begun imagining.
Continue reading
Before I begin this story, I want to anchor it to two posts I wrote earlier in my Pregnancy & Perimenopause Diary Series.
At the time, I was writing in real time ā still in the āin-between,ā still waiting to understand what was happening inside my body.
If youāve read those entries:
Pregnancy & Perimenopause Diary Series: Notes from the In-Between and
Pregnancy & Perimenopause Diary Series: The Waiting, the Wanting, the Yes
ā then you already know the emotional landscape we were standing in.
Those posts captured the uncertainty, the quiet hope, and the fragile possibility that a new life might be beginning.
What Iām sharing now is what happened next.
This story begins on the day we went to my OBās clinic… on what we thought would be a joyful day ā the day we were supposed to hear Baby Luxās heartbeat for the first time.
We went to my OBās clinic for a transvaginal ultrasound, expecting the usual moment many parents look forward to: that tiny flicker on the screen that confirms a little life is growing.
Instead, the screen showed something else.
Continue reading
This is what happened next…
Today was quieter than yesterday.
Not calm exactly… but softer.
At around 3 p.m., Hanz and I went to the diagnostic center for the blood test. The one that would say, clearly and officially, whether this pregnancy was real or not. We waited, did what we had to do, and then decided not to hover. We went to a nearby restaurant for my first meal of the day.
It was a nice moment. Ordinary in the best way. Good food. Sitting across from my husband. Life continuing while something very big hovered in the background.
Continue reading
This is a personal diary series written in real time.
Itās about pregnancy and perimenopause ā not as medical advice, not as inspiration, and not as a lesson already learned ā but as lived experience while itās still unfolding.
Iām not writing this to explain myself, to perform gratitude, or to arrive at neat conclusions.
Iām writing to witness what it feels like to be here.
Some entries may hold uncertainty, grief, tenderness, or contradiction.
That doesnāt mean Iām lost ā it means Iām present.
Iām not looking for advice, reassurance, or interpretation.
What I welcome instead is quiet witnessing.
If youāre reading because youāre curious, reflective, or simply human ā thank you.
If youāre looking for certainty, answers, or conclusions ā this may not be the place.
This is not an announcement.
Itās a diary.
A quick note before you read:
I wrote this reflection during the first week of January, when things felt clear, grounded, and quietly victorious. I planned to publish it then… but life continued to unfold.
The days that followed were full. There was HR work for Oslob New Village. Tasks included hiring and screening, as well as managing payroll systems. Compliance was also addressed. Additionally, there was the invisible weight of holding a growing business and a family at the same time.
Sleep became irregular. Regulation became a daily practice again.
Iām sharing this now from Bohol. I arrived on January 18. I am slowing my nervous system down and allowing myself to rest. The wins still matter. And so does the honesty about what came after.
This post isnāt about perfection.
Itās about continuity.
Here’s a little glimpse of our arrival in Bohol before we dive back to the first week of January….
Continue reading
As a homeschooling mom who spends a lot of time curating engaging yet educational activities for my son, Iām always on the lookout for games that are both fun and beneficial. While browsing online, I stumbled upon CulinarySchools.org, a site that offers a variety of online games catering to different age groups and interests. What intrigued me the most was the range of brain games, puzzles, and even sports-themed games that go beyond just entertainmentāthey also help with cognitive skills, problem-solving, and coordination!
Continue reading
As a Filipina mom, finding reliable childcare solutions is essential to reclaiming your time and maintaining a healthy work-life balance. Juggling the demands of motherhood and personal responsibilities can feel overwhelming, but with the right approach, you can find dependable childcare options that cater to your specific needs.
In this guide, we will explore the importance of reliable childcare, identify your childcare needs, explore different childcare options, evaluate potential childcare providers, and make a smooth transition to a childcare solution that best suits your family.
Continue reading
MomTraNeur 