Dior Shopping

I Thought I Was Shopping at Dior. I Was Really Looking for Baby Lux.

Before We Continue…

So much has happened since my last blog post.

Almost every day for the past two months, I’ve thought about sitting down to write the next chapter of this series. I knew exactly what came next. Dior. Then Hermés. Then the unboxing posts. Then eventually the story of going back to Tiffany and Dior for a second time.

But life happened.

Not in a bad way. Just… life.

I’ve been slowly settling into a different rhythm these past couple of months. Quieter mornings. More walks along the beach. More time tending my little herb garden. More time with Hanz and Tuz. Less rushing. Less chasing. More noticing. This slower rhythm feels strangely familiar, as though I’ve finally found the life I’ve been trying to build all along.

And somewhere along the way, I realized I wasn’t becoming someone new. I was simply returning to someone I’d always been.

For years, I believed that the way to build a good life was to work harder, earn more, achieve more. That season gave me so much, and I’m grateful for it. But these days, I’m finding just as much joy harvesting herbs from the garden, making nourishing drinks in my own kitchen, watching the sunrise, or spending an afternoon with the people I love… basically living a slow kind of life.

Ironically, slowing down has also brought me back to something else I’ve missed for a long time…. writing. More so, blogging.

So before I begin sharing this renewed season of my life, I want to finish telling this one.

Many of you have been following this unexpected journey that started with a Mother’s Day blog post. On the surface, it might look like a series about Tiffany, Louis Vuitton, Dior, and Hermès.

But if you’ve been here from the beginning, you already know it was never really about luxury.

It was about love.

It was about grief.

It was about Baby Lux.

These pieces became symbols of a daughter we never got to meet but will always love. They became tangible reminders that love doesn’t disappear just because someone is no longer physically here.

So today, I’m picking up right where I left off.

This is the continuation of a story I wasn’t quite ready to finish two months ago.

This is the continuation of my luxury experience last Mother’s Day

But before we go any further, I want you to see what the day actually looked like. I put together a short video of our very first Dior boutique experience… from the warm welcome and the champagne to the chocolates, the laughter, and the moment we finally found the ring.

If you watch only the video, you’ll probably think this was simply a story about a family enjoying a beautiful afternoon at Dior. And you’d be right. But only partly. Because what you can’t see in the video is everything that was happening inside me. That’s the story I want to tell you here…

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Tiffany & Co.

My Very First Breakfast at Tiffany’s

A probinsyana girl, a gold heart, grief, privilege, poverty, and learning that love can exist beside healing.

Standing Outside Tiffany

There’s a part in the video where I was still standing outside the Tiffany & Co. store, zooming in on the Tiffany sign from afar before finally walking in. And honestly? My heart was beating so fast it was almost embarrassing. 😂

Because imagine this.

I’m just a probinsyana girl from the Philippines who grew up seeing places like Tiffany only in movies. Especially in Breakfast at Tiffany’s starring Audrey Hepburn. Tiffany always felt so glamorous. So sosyal. So untouchable. One of those places that subconsciously felt like it belonged to another world. Another kind of woman. Another kind of life.

And then suddenly there I was.

Standing right outside an actual Tiffany & Co. store with Dada Hanz and Tuz beside me, about to walk in.

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Luxury Shops at Nustar Cebu

I Thought I Wanted Luxury. What I Really Wanted Was Safety [A Mother’s Day Post]

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mamas out there. 🌷

Today felt different for me.

Not because of the luxury bags.
Not because of Tiffany, Dior, Louis Vuitton, or Hermès.
Not because of flowers, jewelry, or beautiful stores.

But because for the first time in a very long time… I allowed myself to feel taken care of…

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SENSUAL COUPLE

Epilogue: When Life Returns to the Body

Writing the story of Baby Lux has been one of the most emotional things I have ever done.

In the span of a few weeks, we experienced hope, fear, confusion, grief, surgery, and healing.

We learned how fragile life can be.
We learned how strong love can be.
And we learned that sometimes the deepest wounds also reveal the deepest parts of our hearts.

Baby Lux was with us for only a short time.

But that short time changed us.

Our family will never be the same again.

And strangely… that is not entirely a sad thing.

Because in the middle of losing a child, we also discovered something powerful: How deeply we love each other.

Epilogue: I Didn’t Expect This

And just when I was ready to give up on the precious act of lovemaking, something unexpected has been happening to me these past few days.

And I’m almost embarrassed to admit it out loud…

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Part 4 – The Quiet After: Healing and Remembering Baby Lux

(The Final Chapter of the Baby Lux Story)

THE FIRST NIGHT IN THE HOSPITAL

The night before the surgery was the night we were admitted through the Emergency Room.

Everything had happened so quickly — the unexpected ultrasound results, the doctor’s explanation about a possible molar pregnancy, the sudden instruction to go straight to the hospital.

By the time we were finally settled into our room, all three of us were emotionally drained.

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Part 3: The Operating Room — Letting Go of Baby Lux (My D&C / Dilation and Curettage Experience)

The Waiting Before They Came For Me

That afternoon, I began quietly counting the minutes.

Around 1:30 p.m., I kept glancing at the clock. We had originally been told that I might be wheeled to the operating room around 2:00 p.m., but one of the resident doctors had also warned me earlier that my OB still had other patients scheduled before me.

So it might be 3:00 p.m.
Or even 4:00 p.m.

Still, the waiting made every minute feel longer.

Nurses came in and out of the room throughout the afternoon, checking my blood pressure, oxygen levels, and asking the usual questions. Each time the door opened, I wondered if it was finally time.

At 3:30 p.m., the gurney finally arrived.

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Part 2: The Morning Before Surgery — Saying Goodbye to Baby Lux

Part 1 ended with us entering the hospital not knowing exactly what the next hours would bring.

Morning came anyway.

And with it came the quiet understanding that the day ahead would ask us to let go of the life we had begun imagining.

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Part 1: The Day We Went to Hear Baby Lux’s Heartbeat

Before I begin this story, I want to anchor it to two posts I wrote earlier in my Pregnancy & Perimenopause Diary Series.

At the time, I was writing in real time — still in the “in-between,” still waiting to understand what was happening inside my body.

If you’ve read those entries:
Pregnancy & Perimenopause Diary Series: Notes from the In-Between and
Pregnancy & Perimenopause Diary Series: The Waiting, the Wanting, the Yes

— then you already know the emotional landscape we were standing in.

Those posts captured the uncertainty, the quiet hope, and the fragile possibility that a new life might be beginning.

What I’m sharing now is what happened next.

This story begins on the day we went to my OB’s clinic… on what we thought would be a joyful day — the day we were supposed to hear Baby Lux’s heartbeat for the first time.

We went to my OB’s clinic for a transvaginal ultrasound, expecting the usual moment many parents look forward to: that tiny flicker on the screen that confirms a little life is growing.

Instead, the screen showed something else.

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