It’s the day after Christmas and this month has been such a whirlwind of a ride! I work 16 hours a day now and sometimes even more (as a CFO to our mushroom farm, a full-time business development manager to a new foreign client, a virtual assistant to another foriegn client, and a social media manager to 2 other long-time foreign clients as well); I am surprisingly in a long distance relationship with Mahal and baby Tuz for 4 nights a week (which I never thought was possible) just so I can focus on work and making money and still be able to sleep (they live in the farm during weekdays while I’m left alone in our tiny pad down the mountains where there’s stronger internet signal); I am zombie during weekends coz that’s the time my babies are home. And from U.S. Time Zone, I immediately shift back to Philippine time so we can run errands and be together; In short, I am tired. BUT… I’ve never been as fulfilled. I feel like all the talents that God has given me are being put to good use and not just for the welfare of my family, but to help make the lives of the people around us a little bit better as well. Here’s my story… (More like FB story coz I don’t have the time now to curate photos from the original album so I’m curating them from my FB posts… you can friend request me here: https://web.facebook.com/daenerysmom)
Whenever the “ber” months would arrive especially September, I always get excited because it means that my favorite time of the year is just around the corner. No, it’s not Christmas… it’s Halloween! Then I’d start decorating the house, I’d start buying costumes and treats, planning for a house party and scheduling other horror parties and events that my work schedule would permit (like the Nuvali Sky Cinema Event we went to around same time last year).
This year, it’s different. I’ve only come to realize that it’s already Halloween around 3rd week of October when photos of previous Halloween celebrations appeared on my Facebook memories. And instead of feeling happy about it, I felt sad. Continue reading
Do you know anyone suffering from thoughts of suicide and depression? I was reading an article from The Asian Parent about a local celebrity, Nadine Lustre, and her letter to her brother who recently passed away due to suicide when all of a sudden I found myself crying.
My own brother, about 15 years ago, almost took his own life right in front of me by stabbing his chest with a knife and I guess the article just brought back many of those dark memories. He is quite okay now, a dad of 2 kids with a 3rd baby on the way and living with his second life partner. From time to time, he still expresses sadness and depression about his first failed relationship and has had major outbursts of anger and depression, but overall, he is much better now.
I myself, dealt with major feelings of depressions and thoughts of suicide growing up. I had severe teenage angst, anxiety and panic attacks due to the pressure I was put into by my grandparents to consistently be on top of my class that carried well over into my adulthood, which I think contributed to the demise of my first marriage. While I’ve been so much better at handling negative emotions since I’ve been with my current partner of 3 years now, I must admit that it’s just lately that feelings of depression started settling in again.
Life is full of choices and more often than not, we are left paralyzed as to what decision to take next. As much as life is a never-ending road of lessons that needs to be travelled so we can move on to the next higher level, many of us choose to stay where we are simply because we are just too lazy or even scared to take responsibility for the challenging consequences that our new choices might bring. We’d rather stay in our comfort zones and revel in there. Anyway, we feel okay, so why bother?
I was in that zone once and it took a while for me to get up, pop the bubble I was in and jump to a new adventure. And when I finally did, so many exciting events and learnings happened that I think just made me a better and happier person now. It involved a lot of saying no to opportunities, people and events that no longer matter in the greater scheme of things and it involves saying yes to a lot of new and scary stuff. And I wouldn’t be this happy had I not taken that big leap towards this life I’m now living.
So how did it come to this? What did I do? How does one take the big leap of their life?
It’s almost 3AM, Philippine time, on the first day of the new year and this is the first time, in a long time, that I am able to breathe, relax and write down my thoughts… I hope this is a good sign… sort of like saying that the new year will bring me more relaxed moments to just be. *crossing my fingers*
Anyway, the house is now all cleaned up, quiet and dark after a whole day of preparation — running errands, picking up groceries and slaving away in the kitchen so we can all have a feast come media noche. And hurrah! Indeed, we were able to fill our dining table with yummy dishes that I think will last for another week just like our Noche Buena did last Christmas which lasted until New Year’s Eve. Hihihi! We feel so blessed! No more cooking the rest of the week, yey! I’m sure a lot of you can relate. Continue reading
A BUSY introduction
I know, I know, I KNOW. It’s been 10 days since my last post and I have so much to share! Before baby Tuz’s first birthday, my life partner, Mahal, and I have been having sleepless nights taking care of work, parental stuff and domestic duties because we wanted to celebrate our baby’s first birthday on the date of his birthday itself, which was the 17th, a Thursday. We could have just decided to have it on a weekend so all our work responsibilities have already been done by that time and we can all relax and enjoy our son’s birthday beach celebration. Well, we did enjoy, but it could have been better. And it’s all because we wanted it celebrated on the birthdate itself, which, now, looking back, has been a semi-terrible idea! Continue reading
HOW I’VE LOST TRACK OF MY HEALTHY LIFESTYLE
We’ve been eating out a lot more frequently than usual not just because of lack of time to visit the local market for organic stuff (we have to be there by 5am to get the freshest produce and catch, unfortunately, our body clock keeps on moving because of Baby Tuz‘s fussiness) but because I’ve been feeling like celebrating lately. I know a big part of our nation and the world is mourning right now because of certain events particularly having ex-dictator/president Marcos buried in Libingan ng mga Bayani plus Donald Trump’s startling win in the recent U.S. Elections, but in spite of all of that, I want to focus on the positive and just celebrate life! Looking at our little family, we still have so many things to be thankful for, hence the eating out and mini celebrations as of late… Continue reading
I just received good news when I woke up this morning! I was on the way out of the bathroom when my phone rang. My phone rarely rings because people rarely call me since they can always contact me online. In a split second, I thought it was Leylan, the electrician who fixed the electrical wiring in the bedroom yesterday who said he will come back today to fix our broken washing machine. But when I looked at my phone… guess who??? It’s my lawyer! Continue reading
The year is almost over and I still have so many things to accomplish on my plate — work, business, pleasure and leisure, passions and hobbies, the upkeep of the house and everything it entails, maintenance of good health, taking care of relationships, etc.
But since we only have 24 hours a day to do everything we can to be productive and live a balanced life, more often than not, it really takes a strong willpower and determination to be able to squeeze in everything we need to do day in and day out including the not-so-important and urgent tasks. Because of this need to be “superwoman” (or superman for our men out there) in so many ways, I remembered the importance of meditation. I am after all, a full-time and hands-on work-from-home mom, which means I am an all-around 24/7 caregiver, helper, yaya, breadwinner, homemaker, partner, cheerleader, and everything else in between and I need all the help and support I can get to remain sane, healthy and happy. I am just so thankful because I have a male counterpart doing same things I do to lessen the burden while at the same time doubling the joy and fulfillment in our little family. But still, there are days when I get so overwhelmed and having a great partner is not enough… Continue reading
When I started this new blog, I’ve shared with you that I’m re-reading Gretchen Rubin’s Happiness Project because I want to bring more happiness into my life, the kind that really comes from within me and not the type that is pressured into my life by other people or caused by pride and envy (which is why I started this whole new blog and let go of my old persona even if people close to me advised me against it). I want to be just me. Be me. Be Jen. Which is why I am writing a lot more now about my life, my thoughts, my past experiences, etc. because I am first and foremost a diarist more than a typical blogger, more than a marketer or any other kind of writer. I like looking at my own past experiences, enjoying those happy forgotten memories and using the positive energy they give me to bring more good things into my present life so I can forge ahead with a bit more wisdom, inspiration and strength towards a brighter future. And one thing about my not-so-far-off past that gave (and still gives) me so much joy is SURFING.
This is more of a story of love and letting go of fear rather than a pure guide to surfing. Although there’ll be bits and pieces about how to surf, where to surf, how much it costs and what not, more than anything, I’d be sharing with you a photo journal about it and how this water sports activity has changed my life and influenced me (hopefully for the better). Continue reading