Yesterday morning, before the trip to the farm, Mahal and I had a talk. I told him I was feeling overwhelmed with everything that’s been going on. We are still in the beginning stages of the farm even if it’s already been more than a year since we started setting it up. That’s coz farming is so dependent on the weather, the availability of “ingredients” for the mushroom fruiting bags, the people we hire and fire, the availability of water in the natural spring, etc. We haven’t yet really fully set it up, and we’re already thinking of setting up another business in Oslob — a bar — to complement their existing mini resort, Oslob New Village…
Each year, it has always been my goal to write more, journal my thoughts and feelings more, and share my life on my blog. My blogs (both old and new) have always been my alter ego, my memory bank, my soul. I’m a loner. I’m an introvert. I have very few quality friends by choice and even in my young adult years as I was surrounded by so many friends and colleagues, I really didn’t open up much except to a chosen few. So blogging, for me, is very personal. Having said that, I can say that my blog has become my sounding board, my confidant, my best friend (apart from Mahal of course) and I am quite happy about it. My blog is just always here to listen to my woes, adventures, and excitements and it doesn’t judge. It just is… even when I don’t get to update it as much as I would like to. But when I do, like right now, it can be very cathartic. And if you happen to visit and read my blog, thank you. I appreciate it. I hope it wasn’t a waste of your time and you get something good out of it somehow. You can check out my self-help posts, I find them the most helpful if you’re not into purely travel and lifestyle posts.
I mostly blog for myself, partly because I easily forget things I’ve experienced, lol. No, really, it’s true! Whenever people would ask me, where to go or what to do in this place, etc., my first mental reply would be “Visit my blog coz I’ve already forgotten!” or my mind would automatically go “Shit, I need to check my blog coz I think I’ve already written about it.” LOL! Aside from documenting my experiences through photos, I’ve accumulated through the years, it’s still better to always have organized documentation of my experiences through my blog. At least other people who happen to drop by can get some information they need or some sort of inspiration when they need to. And whenever I need the same, I can always go back to my old blog posts.
However, whenever I feel down, exhausted, overworked or depressed, which I’ve been feeling since the second week of January… (first week was super fun since we were still on a Christmas and New Year high!), I find it hard to write. I am simply overcome with not-so-good emotions and it takes a while for me to get back on track. This is because whenever that happens, I’d go into survival mode and whatever positive energy I have left in me (if there is still some left), I would spend it on my main priorities which are my family and my work. I still want to be the best mother I can be for Tuz, the best partner I can be for Mahal, the best I can be for my clients. Everything else has to wait its turn based on its relative importance.
I am just full of gratitude these days. Aren’t you? And why shouldn’t we? Being able to wake up every day, be with our family and do meaningful work are actually more than enough to thank God for this wonderful gift of life He has given us. This is why my previous post was all about gratitude, for allowing me to have a career in the online world and live a dream lifestyle that I have chosen since retiring from government service in December 2007. This post will also be about gratitude as I look back to all the previous year’s blessings. And I believe, I have one more gratitude post to write after this. My heart is just brimming with joy that I need to express all of them before I burst out of utter bliss. ❤
Before I look back at 2018 though, I want to look back at the last 3 years since we’ve had Tuz.
In a nutshell… Continue reading
It’s nearing the end of the year and as I was looking back at the events that transpired this year, it made me look even further back… back to when I was still struggling in the corporate world, doing a job I wasn’t happy with, like many people do, with all the commute, traffic, office politics, and stress that come with it. And I thank God for that fateful day as I was drowning while surfing the huge waves of La Union back in Dec. 16, 2007. Right then and there I told God that “should I survive these huge waves, Lord, I will quit my job and finally do what I wanted to do — be free”. And that’s what I did the next day! And I never looked back. Even my million peso retirement was not processed by me… someone else did because I didn’t want to even physically go back to my old workplace out of the emotional and mental trauma it caused me. When I say no to something, I really mean it. I didn’t want to be persuaded otherwise.
This was me ten years ago when I posted about doing freelance work for my very first VA client: Continue reading
It’s been a busy month for me and my family. Before we headed to Siargao for a 9D/8N beach trip as a pre-celebration of Tuz’s 3rd birthday (and to de-stress and meditate as well because we’ve been feeling so burnt out and cluttered), we attended a seminar sponsored by CDO Homeschoolers last Nov. 3 where I learned that there are so many ways and techniques to homeschool your child and many of them are accredited by the Dept. of Education. Awesome! Now we have more choices for our baby! Tuz will also be attending a free 3-day class at The Abba’s Orchard, a Montessori school, next month to test the waters for him. So at least now, Mahal and I have more choices as to what kind of education we want our only child to have.
After the homeschooling seminar, we were on a long road trip the following day, 18 hours to be exact, from Cagayan de Oro to Butuan, to Surigao City then Siargao! We spent 8 nights there and it was heaven! I have so many content to sift through so I can share with you our amazing experiences of the island, this time, with our little boy. It was my 4th time there, but it was my 1st time with our baby, so it was more exciting and it’s like seeing Siargao again with fresh eyes.
By the time we got back to Cagayan de Oro, I was swimming in work deadlines and Mahal had so many things to attend to at the farm. Then Tuz had his 3rd birthday at Seven Seas (the biggest waterpark in the Philippines!) It’s only now that I finally had a little bit of extra time to write, to at least journal my thoughts so I can begin organizing the blog posts I have in my head. After this, I’m off to buy a new office table and chair at Our Home in SM Downtown (so excited about that, that I was actually able to make space for it in our tiny pad! I hope it’s still there!), deliver our Mushroom Chili Paste and fresh vegetable harvest to customers and run a few more errands. Whew! Super Mom it is!
It’s been raining hard the past couple of days… good for our crops… kinda bad for me. We can’t go back (yet) to the city.
The original plan was for me and Tuz to stay in our tiny city pad with all the conveniences of modern living. I have strong wifi there, Tuz and I can watch movies on the big screen, we can have food delivered or even go out late at night to eat at my favorite food place in the city, there’s a fridge at home, a microwave, a washing machine and of course an air conditioner (although the temperature here at the farm is way cooler). Then that day after Mahal made LBC deliveries for Mushroom Chili Paste and Mushroom Langka Jam orders and came home, he waited for me to wake up. I was actually expecting him to be gone already by the time I wake up so it’d be easier for me to not miss him. But he couldn’t leave yet. He said he was already missing us so much. So we spent time just talking… and hugging… and kissing… an hour passed… two… three… I was on the brink of tears knowing that he needed to go back to the farm soon since the plants have been all alone with no one to take care of them for 5 whole days already at that time.
Then Mahal said: “Sama ka na!” (Come with me!)
I don’t want to make any excuses for not being able to post here when I said I would. But what I will do instead is to tell you the truth.
I’ve been feeling OVERWHELMED… and BURNT OUT as of late… I was aware of this state I was in but I didn’t want to further magnify it by telling people how I just found myself crying out of the blue, how I suddenly just felt so depressed and ungrateful, how I’ve thought of leaving Mahal and Tuz… I didn’t mention anything about it on social media or as it was happening. But now that THAT PHASE is over, now that I think I have overcome those negative thoughts and feelings for the most part, perhaps it would be helpful for others in the same boat to let them know that they’re not alone and that no matter how bad those feelings can get, there is always a way (or ways) to overcome it and come out better than ever. Continue reading
Wow, I’m now on the 30th day of my very own self-imposed 30-day blog post challenge which also propelled me to restart doing other things I love and one of them is, obviously, blogging —Blogging about anything and everything that I feel like sharing to the world!
It all started with this post, HOW TO DO WHAT YOU LOVE EACH DAY, because it was already May and I felt that I haven’t yet done the things that I told myself I will do. I don’t want 2018 to pass me by and just resign to the fact that once again my New Year’s resolutions were just that — resolutions that never came to fruition.
So I look back at the past 29 days and I feel proud about the lessons I learned so far: Continue reading
I’m now on the 28th day of my very own self-imposed 30-day blog post challenge which also propelled me to restart doing other things I love and one of those things is reading my books, particularly Jack Canfield’s The Success Principles.
I already mentioned before that I bought this book in 2009. I started reading it and finished a few chapters, then life happened and before I know it, years have passed and I haven’t continued reading the book. So I started reading it again from Chapter 1. And now, I’m already on Chapter 31. Yey!
Below are my blog posts about Jack Canfield’s Success Principles so far:
Today’s blog post will be about Jack Canfield’s 3rd success principle: HOW TO DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT.
I’m now on the 25th day of my very own self-imposed 30-day blog post challenge which also propelled me to restart doing other things I love and one of them is reading books, as I’ve mentioned in my previous blog post, but most importantly, reading self-help ones and applying what I learned in my own life.
I came across the Pareto principle years ago while at work. It is more popularly known as the 80-20 rule such that 20% of the causes bring about 80% of the results. Though there are a variety of permutations that explains this principle, it just struck me hard enough to write a post about how I see it.
There was a time when I once again fell into my old pattern of focusing too much on the 80% of the stuff that only brings in 20% of the desired results I want. It should have been the other way around. I should have been able to focus my attention on the 20% of tasks that contribute to the 80% of my income. This meant, more quality time at work, more quality time in my personal life, more quality time in every aspect of my life if possible, and less time doing the less important stuff. This way, I could have balanced my time more, done the other fulfilling things I wanted, while still earning my desired income. Thanks to the Pareto principle, it became my wake up call.