February – MomTraNeur

It’s February 1 today.

And instead of planning this post properly, I ended up rereading something I wrote a year ago — “February: The Month I Finally Choose Me.”

I didn’t mean to analyze it. I just wanted to remember how I was feeling back then.

Short answer: tired. Even a little defiant.
Hopeful, yes. But very, very tired.

What struck me most was the list I made.

On one hand, I listed all the things that were working — businesses moving forward, improvements at Oslob New Village, new VA clients, better communication in our marriage. At the time, I acknowledged those wins but somehow still felt like I was falling behind.

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February has always been a special month for me—not just because it’s my birth month, but because it’s a time when I reflect on where I am in life, what I’ve given, what I’ve lost, and what I still need to do for myself. This year, as I turn 47, I am making a conscious decision: I am focusing on me.

For as long as I can remember, I have been generous to a fault. I give—sometimes more than I should. I sacrifice my wants, my needs, my dreams for the people I love. It’s in my nature. But over the years, I’ve learned, through painful lessons and small victories, that boundaries matter. I’ve learned to say no. I’ve learned to delete toxic people from my life. Yet, I still find myself putting others first too often. And the truth is, I haven’t done enough for myself.

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