I can feel it.
My energy is slowly coming back.
Not all at once. Not like before.
But enough for me to notice.
And Iām grateful.
But at the same timeā¦
Continue reading
Category: Love & Relationships
Where Iāve Beenā¦ and Why I Needed This Space | MomTraNeur Diaries Ep. 1
Iāve always been strong.
I run businesses, albeit small.
I take care of my family.
I show up for everyone.
And I know Iām not the only one.
A lot of momsā¦ a lot of wivesā¦ are like this.
We carry so much.
We keep going, even when weāre tired.
We hold everything together, even when weāre quietly falling apart inside.
And sometimes, we donāt even realize how much weāve been carryingā¦
until something breaks us open.
Epilogue: When Life Returns to the Body
Writing the story of Baby Lux has been one of the most emotional things I have ever done.
In the span of a few weeks, we experienced hope, fear, confusion, grief, surgery, and healing.
We learned how fragile life can be.
We learned how strong love can be.
And we learned that sometimes the deepest wounds also reveal the deepest parts of our hearts.
Baby Lux was with us for only a short time.
But that short time changed us.
Our family will never be the same again.
And strangelyā¦ that is not entirely a sad thing.
Because in the middle of losing a child, we also discovered something powerful: How deeply we love each other.
Epilogue: I Didnāt Expect This
And just when I was ready to give up on the precious act of lovemaking, something unexpected has been happening to me these past few days.
And Iām almost embarrassed to admit it out loud…
Continue reading
Part 4 ā The Quiet After: Healing and Remembering Baby Lux
(The Final Chapter of the Baby Lux Story)
THE FIRST NIGHT IN THE HOSPITAL
The night before the surgery was the night we were admitted through the Emergency Room.
Everything had happened so quickly ā the unexpected ultrasound results, the doctorās explanation about a possible molar pregnancy, the sudden instruction to go straight to the hospital.
By the time we were finally settled into our room, all three of us were emotionally drained.
Continue reading
Part 3: The Operating Room ā Letting Go of Baby Lux (My D&C / Dilation and Curettage Experience)
The Waiting Before They Came For Me
That afternoon, I began quietly counting the minutes.
Around 1:30 p.m., I kept glancing at the clock. We had originally been told that I might be wheeled to the operating room around 2:00 p.m., but one of the resident doctors had also warned me earlier that my OB still had other patients scheduled before me.
So it might be 3:00 p.m.
Or even 4:00 p.m.
Still, the waiting made every minute feel longer.
Nurses came in and out of the room throughout the afternoon, checking my blood pressure, oxygen levels, and asking the usual questions. Each time the door opened, I wondered if it was finally time.
At 3:30 p.m., the gurney finally arrived.
Continue reading
Part 2: The Morning Before Surgery ā Saying Goodbye to Baby Lux
Part 1 ended with us entering the hospital not knowing exactly what the next hours would bring.
Morning came anyway.
And with it came the quiet understanding that the day ahead would ask us to let go of the life we had begun imagining.
Continue reading
Part 1: The Day We Went to Hear Baby Luxās Heartbeat
Before I begin this story, I want to anchor it to two posts I wrote earlier in my Pregnancy & Perimenopause Diary Series.
At the time, I was writing in real time ā still in the āin-between,ā still waiting to understand what was happening inside my body.
If youāve read those entries:
Pregnancy & Perimenopause Diary Series: Notes from the In-Between and
Pregnancy & Perimenopause Diary Series: The Waiting, the Wanting, the Yes
ā then you already know the emotional landscape we were standing in.
Those posts captured the uncertainty, the quiet hope, and the fragile possibility that a new life might be beginning.
What Iām sharing now is what happened next.
This story begins on the day we went to my OBās clinic… on what we thought would be a joyful day ā the day we were supposed to hear Baby Luxās heartbeat for the first time.
We went to my OBās clinic for a transvaginal ultrasound, expecting the usual moment many parents look forward to: that tiny flicker on the screen that confirms a little life is growing.
Instead, the screen showed something else.
Continue reading
Closing January, Welcoming February (Again)
Itās February 1 today.
And instead of planning this post properly, I ended up rereading something I wrote a year ago ā āFebruary: The Month I Finally Choose Me.ā
I didnāt mean to analyze it. I just wanted to remember how I was feeling back then.
Short answer: tired. Even a little defiant.
Hopeful, yes. But very, very tired.
What struck me most was the list I made.
On one hand, I listed all the things that were working ā businesses moving forward, improvements at Oslob New Village, new VA clients, better communication in our marriage. At the time, I acknowledged those wins but somehow still felt like I was falling behind.
Continue reading
The Quiet Wins of My First Week of January 2026 (A MomTraNeur reflection)
A quick note before you read:
I wrote this reflection during the first week of January, when things felt clear, grounded, and quietly victorious. I planned to publish it then… but life continued to unfold.
The days that followed were full. There was HR work for Oslob New Village. Tasks included hiring and screening, as well as managing payroll systems. Compliance was also addressed. Additionally, there was the invisible weight of holding a growing business and a family at the same time.
Sleep became irregular. Regulation became a daily practice again.
Iām sharing this now from Bohol. I arrived on January 18. I am slowing my nervous system down and allowing myself to rest. The wins still matter. And so does the honesty about what came after.
This post isnāt about perfection.
Itās about continuity.
Here’s a little glimpse of our arrival in Bohol before we dive back to the first week of January….
Continue reading
Designing a Life of Intention: Why Iām Slowing Down to Build Something That Lasts
Lately, I’ve been feeling a shift. Not the kind you shout about online or celebrate with a champagne pop. But the kind that whispers gently: “Thereās a new way to live, love, and lead. And it begins with less noise, more intention.”
If youāve followed my journey, you know Iāve always worn many hatsāentrepreneur, creative, homeschooling mama, wife, storyteller. For years, Iāve built and juggled, dreamed and delivered, crafted strategies while navigating motherhood and womanhood.
But recently, I realized something:
I donāt want to keep up. I want to go deep.
2024 LOOK BACK: A Year of Growth, Celebration, and Dreams Taking Shape
As the clock ticks closer to the end of 2024, I canāt help but reflect on what an incredible year it has been for our family. This year wasnāt just about celebrations; it was about growth, stepping out of comfort zones, making bold moves, and seeing long-held dreams start to take shape. And so, as I sit down to reflect on 2024, I feel a mix of emotions. Though the latter part of December saw me struggling with a wave of depression, I now realize it was likely hormonal ā my period suddenly arrived after a delay, which made me wonder if I might be entering perimenopause.
It wasnāt just hormones, though. My VA business has grown exponentially this year ā I now have 12 clients! On top of that, I juggle multiple roles in our businesses: as co-owner and Chief Marketing Officer of our hotel, restaurant, cafĆ©, and catering business, all while trying to keep up with the many business and personal development courses Iāve enrolled in. Somewhere along the way, I over-fatigued my already overloaded system.
Thankfully, I have my husband, Hanz, by my side. His unwavering support, his constant reminders to take breaks, and his effort to make sure my ālove cupā is always filled to the brim helped me push through. Looking back at all that weāve accomplished this year, the sadness has lifted. Itās been replaced by a deep sense of gratitude, hope, and joy for every big and small blessing that has come our way.
Here’s a month-by-month look back at the highlights of this unforgettable year. (Note to self: I hope to blog about each of these things in more detail this coming 2025…)
Continue reading
MomTraNeur 