I Thought I Was Back to Normal… But My Body Had Other Plans | MomTraNeur Diaries Ep. 3

For the past couple of weeks, I honestly thought I was finally “back.”

My energy came back. I can wake up early again. I can work again. My brain feels clearer. I don’t feel as physically drained as I did the past few months.

After everything my body went through recently, especially after the D&C, that already felt like a huge thing.

But even though I feel better, I’ve been noticing something I can’t ignore.

By around 6 PM, I’m done.

Not sleepy exactly. Not depressed. Not emotionally overwhelmed. Just… done.

My body simply does not want to function the way it used to anymore.

And I think part of me has been struggling to accept that.

Because in my mind, I keep thinking:

“If my energy is back now, shouldn’t I be able to do everything again?”

Work. Podcasting. Blogging. Writing my book. Creating content. Managing the business. Being present for my family. Taking care of myself.

But lately, I’m realizing that just because your energy comes back doesn’t mean your body comes back the same way.

That has been such a strange thing to experience.

For years, I lived on a completely different body clock because of work. Late nights felt normal to me. I could work until 2 AM, 3 AM, sometimes even until sunrise if I needed to.

Now my body wants the complete opposite.

I naturally wake up early. My brain works best in the morning. That’s when I can focus, think clearly, and get things done.

But once evening comes, especially around 6 PM onward, my body starts slowing down whether I like it or not.

And honestly, I’ve been resisting that.

Because there’s still a part of me that feels guilty whenever I’m not maximizing every hour of the day.

Especially now that I’m working again and clients are coming in again. Once I became active online again, work started flowing in quickly. And of course, I can’t pretend that work doesn’t matter.

Money matters.

Security matters.

Being practical matters.

So there’s this strange tension I’ve been feeling lately between ambition and capacity.

Between wanting to create and simply not having enough mental energy left after handling real-life responsibilities.

And maybe that’s why Episode 3 of my podcast ended up becoming more personal than I originally planned.

For the first two episodes, I prepared myself more. I fixed my hair. I wore makeup. I tried to look more put together before recording.

This time, I didn’t.

My skin has been reacting lately. It’s been itchy and sensitive and I’ve been getting small bumps on my face. I honestly don’t know if it’s from medications, hormones, stress, sugar, being out in the garden planting herbs, or a combination of everything.

But for the first time, I didn’t force myself to “fix” it before showing up.

I just let my skin breathe.

And I think that became symbolic of something bigger I’m learning right now.

I’m learning to let my body breathe too.

Not everything needs to be pushed.

Not every season of life is meant to look ultra-productive, polished, energetic, and optimized.

Sometimes healing looks like slowing down enough to notice what your body has been trying to tell you all along.

I think for a long time, I interpreted every dip in energy as laziness or lack of discipline.

Now I’m starting to wonder if sometimes we’re simply out of sync with ourselves.

Maybe the problem is not always motivation.

Maybe sometimes we’re just forcing ourselves into rhythms that no longer fit who we are now.

Right now, I’m trying to work with my body instead of against it.