Happy Mother’s Day to all the mamas out there. 🌷

Today felt different for me.

Not because of the luxury bags.
Not because of Tiffany, Dior, Louis Vuitton, or Hermès.
Not because of flowers, jewelry, or beautiful stores.

But because for the first time in a very long time… I allowed myself to feel taken care of…

Most of my adult life, I was the strong one.
The breadwinner.
The problem solver.
The one always thinking five steps ahead.
The one carrying everyone else emotionally, mentally, financially.

To be honest, it was exhausting! But nobody knew how I really felt inside. And on those rare occasions I tell people concerned about my thoughts and feelings, they dismiss my feelings like I don’t matter. They only saw me as an ATM machine, ready to be withdrawn from all day, all night. 😦

So even when life became better… even when love became safer… my nervous system still lived like survival could return at any moment. (Dapat laging handa! Hinid pwedeng magpahinga…)

And maybe that’s why this week touched me so deeply.

Because Dada Hanz, my husband, in his own way, showed me:
“Relax, Mahal. Lean on me. I’ve got you.”

No, we are not Manny and Jinkee Pacquiao. 😅 (We wish! Lol!)
But for a few hours… for a few days… with the resources we worked hard for together… he made me experience what it feels like to be treated softly.

Like a princess.
Like a queen.
Like a woman who no longer has to carry the whole world alone. (Ayiiiii!)

Hanz really always makes my dreams come true! And I’m eternally grateful for him, his love and affection. ❤

And honestly?
That feeling was more luxurious than any brand.

I can’t explain it… it’s like… HEAVEN! Like I didn’t even have to worry about how much we’re spending in this one day. We could’ve built a simple house with the money we spent but instead we made all these luxury companies richer… haha! But the emotional experience of it all was all so worth it! For us at least.

It was a once in a lifetime experience to splurge like that in a few hours and be treated like a queen, a king and a prince!

What made this experience even more emotional for me is this:
For YEARS, I was too intimidated to even walk into luxury boutiques.

Except that one time a few years ago when Louis Vuitton had a small boutique here at Nustar and with a brave face I went in looking for that Speedy bag I so wanted to buy but ended up getting something else… more confidence in myself and my capability to receive provision and love.

So most of the time,I would just order online quietly because deep inside, there was still that insecure girl wondering:
“What if they think I don’t belong here?”
“What if they think I can’t afford anything?”
“What if they judge me?”

So walking into those stores this week — Tiffany & Co., Dior, Louis Vuitton, Hermès — wasn’t just shopping for me.

It was healing.

Healing the younger version of me who always felt she had to prove herself first before deserving beautiful things.

And yes, there were moments when the old feelings came back.
Moments of insecurity.
Moments of feeling small.

Especially when this gay LV Customer Service Rep reprimanded me for taking pictures inside. (Bawal daw!) I almost walked out.

But there were also beautiful moments of kindness, warmth, care, especially when another LV Customer Service Rep, a lady this time, took care of us providing us matchas and lattes and juices and the realization:
I don’t need to “look rich enough” to deserve beautiful experiences.

I already deserve them simply because I exist. (Char…)

And maybe at 48…
after decades of surviving… and being a “soldier” like Sarah Lahbati (Lol!)
this is finally the season where I learn how to receive.

Not just gifts.
Not just luxury.
But love.
Care.
Rest.
Softness.
Safety.

So this Mother’s Day, I’m celebrating more than bags, jewelry and flowers.

I’m celebrating healing.
I’m celebrating being loved well.
I’m celebrating the woman I survived long enough to become. 🤍

And yes… in the coming days, I’ll be sharing little stories about my experiences inside each of these four stores because surprisingly, they became emotional experiences for me too. ✨

Happy Mother’s Day again, especially to the women who spent most of their lives being “the strong one.”

May life someday hold you gently too. 🌷