The Root of Happiness (And How I Found It Around Halloween)

I’ve been listening to Rob Dial’s podcasts. He’s a mindset mentor and one of the things he discussed was about happiness and the root of it or the key to achieving it. He based it on what Will Smith said before that it’s not the material things nor money that will bring you happiness (I think many of us know this already), but it’s peace. Peace is actually what I have been experiencing just recently, around Halloween time. It’s not because Halloween is my most favorite time of the year and this year’s celebration has been the happiest Halloween I’ve had so far (I thought last year’s Halloween celebration was the bomb! Didn’t think we’d top that off this year!), but it’s more than that. 

I’m not sure if I mentioned it here before or in some other diary of mine, but living here in Oslob, for as long as I can remember, wasn’t really a good idea for me because I know and I feel that there are people here who don’t like me… they don’t like me because I’m with Mahal… because I used to be married to someone else… and maybe because I am just the kind of person they couldn’t believe achieved so much in life without much help from others. The way people think here is that you can either only be successful if you work abroad or if you’re married to a foreigner. I’m neither, so, maybe that boggles them. Honestly, I don’t really know why they don’t like me. The reasons I mentioned above are just my assumptions. 

So anyway, fast forward to 2021, we had to transfer to Oslob for reasons I probably already mentioned before in my previous posts. Being the positive person that I do my best to be, I tried to overcome all my anxieties about moving here. Though I am happy about the fact that Mahal is happiest here out of all the other places we’ve lived in, and that the beach is just a stone’s throw away, for about 10 months of living here, I was not really 100% comfortable and happy. Most of the time, I felt awkward and out of place and it’s all because of this one person who lived here with us who did not respect me, showed me she doesn’t like me, and no matter how hard I tried to be kind, generous, and good to her, she just kept disrespecting me.

I was even afraid to tell Mahal about it because I didn’t want any trouble. I was uncomfortable enough as it was, I didn’t want to make things worse. It’s like being in Squid Games (lol!) I felt like any time I’d be kicked out of the game, or worse, killed!

Eventually, I summoned up the courage and I told Mahal about how I was being treated by her; I let him know what was going on. At first, he told me to just don’t mind her. We both want peace around here so I just accepted the fact that this lady doesn’t like me and that’s that. Until one morning in October, I wasn’t aware that Mahal saw from a distance how she treated me. Ultimately, that made him confront her once and for all. This girl immediately started crying and said in their vernacular to Mahal: “Are you going to make me leave just because I don’t like her?” Mahal replied: “I’m not asking you to like her or to leave. All I ask is for you to respect her. We’re all living here under one roof and it’s so painful seeing you treat my wife this way! But if you want to leave, I won’t stop you.”

After that incident, one day, she was just gone. She didn’t even ask permission. She just left. She finally found a good reason to leave. This lady I am talking about grew up with them. She was adopted from the mountains of Claveria at the young age of 7 and I met her for the first time back in 2012. She was only 11 years old at that time. She’s such a hardworking kid and her “grandma” (Mahal’s mom) was so strict with her that I pitied her since I also grew up with strict grandparents. I was fond of her coz I somehow saw myself in her at that age. I gave her money, I threw her a birthday party back in 2013 during one of my vacations in Oslob; I even gave her silver jewelry. Then everything changed when Mahal and I became a couple. I believe it was because of the influence of Mahal’s older sister who hates me so much that made this young lady hate me too. Just when I was ready to accept this awkward and uncomfortable position I’m in, she was gone. A part of me still pitied her but for the most part, I felt at peace. I even started feeling really happy, as if a huge dark cloud was lifted and I can finally breathe!

Looking back, the timing was just right because Halloween was around the corner and I wanted to really celebrate it and forget about my daily emotional struggle here. It’s probably not obvious on my social media posts, but most of the time before she left, I was just inside our little unit except on those days when we went to the beach. I wasn’t comfortable walking around Mahal’s resort because of her hateful presence. I tried to avoid bumping into her and going into “her territories”. I hated feeling awkward and out of place as if I was an outsider. So, I just stayed in our room most of the time.

Then Halloween was upcoming and I’ve always wanted to beautify Mahal’s place — this mini-resort where we live — and give it a touch of Jen but the hateful presence of this lady kept stopping me. For one, she lived in the room behind the reception area (which was why the reception area has been so messy and not according to my standards at least). This was also why the gazebo was in the same condition because that was her territory too. She was always there, sewing clothes, and not cleaning up her mess. She was a messy girl. When she left, I immediately redecorated the reception area and the gazebo! In fact, I got so inspired and felt so at peace when she left that I decided to do a whole week of partying for Halloween — after getting the whole mini-resort decorated for the spooky festivities! 

So that’s how the idea for a week-long party for my most fave time of the year blossomed. It’s like it’s such perfect timing! And of course, Mahal was happy about it! Finally, no more dark clouds hovering over us!

And because her hateful presence is now gone, for sure our Christmas and New Year’s will be awesome too. (I hope!)

Peace, indeed, like what Rob Dial and Will Smith said, is the root of happiness. We may not be able to control how other people treat us, but as long as we know we didn’t do anything wrong and want only what’s best for everyone, then we will attract peace, and inadvertently, happiness. In retrospect, perhaps because I already forgave her, and I already accepted our situation while she was still disrespecting me all the time, maybe that’s why she chose to leave… because our energies and vibrations are not aligned and we both attracted what we were feeling. She wants to get rid of me. I wanted to be out of her dark energy. So, there you go. Plus, she probably wanted to leave for a while now, even before this happened. She has a boyfriend who supports her, she’s a scholar in school, and Mahal’s sister supports her too. She just doesn’t know about the boyfriend situation. If she gets to read this, well, she’ll know.

I wish her well wherever she is. I’m sure she’s happy now that she has escaped the authority of her uncle (my Mahal). I’m sure the older sister of Mahal is happy too because she has now gained 100% loyalty from their adopted child. Cheers to them! The important thing is Mahal really showed me his support and loyalty and for that, I am truly grateful. 

Anyway, below are photos from how we celebrated my most fave time of the year… I started decorating around Oct. 9, just around our little unit inside the mini-resort because I wasn’t sure I can decorate the other areas for fear of the hateful lady, until eventually after she left, I had the gazebo decorated as well where we held our week-long Halloween festivities. 🙂

And now, we’re off to Christmas. Ta-ta!

Til my next post!

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