Rainbow

After the Storm Comes the Rainbow (I’m Back and Feeling Better Than Ever!)

Each year, it has always been my goal to write more, journal my thoughts and feelings more, and share my life on my blog. My blogs (both old and new) have always been my alter ego, my memory bank, my soul. I’m a loner. I’m an introvert. I have very few quality friends by choice and even in my young adult years as I was surrounded by so many friends and colleagues, I really didn’t open up much except to a chosen few. So blogging, for me, is very personal. Having said that, I can say that my blog has become my sounding board, my confidant, my best friend (apart from Mahal of course) and I am quite happy about it. My blog is just always here to listen to my woes, adventures, and excitements and it doesn’t judge. It just is… even when I don’t get to update it as much as I would like to. But when I do, like right now, it can be very cathartic. And if you happen to visit and read my blog, thank you. I appreciate it. I hope it wasn’t a waste of your time and you get something good out of it somehow. You can check out my self-help posts, I find them the most helpful if you’re not into purely travel and lifestyle posts.

I mostly blog for myself, partly because I easily forget things I’ve experienced, lol. No, really, it’s true! Whenever people would ask me, where to go or what to do in this place, etc., my first mental reply would be “Visit my blog coz I’ve already forgotten!” or my mind would automatically go “Shit, I need to check my blog coz I think I’ve already written about it.” LOL! Aside from documenting my experiences through photos, I’ve accumulated through the years, it’s still better to always have organized documentation of my experiences through my blog. At least other people who happen to drop by can get some information they need or some sort of inspiration when they need to. And whenever I need the same, I can always go back to my old blog posts.

However, whenever I feel down, exhausted, overworked or depressed, which I’ve been feeling since the second week of January… (first week was super fun since we were still on a Christmas and New Year high!), I find it hard to write. I am simply overcome with not-so-good emotions and it takes a while for me to get back on track. This is because whenever that happens, I’d go into survival mode and whatever positive energy I have left in me (if there is still some left), I would spend it on my main priorities which are my family and my work. I still want to be the best mother I can be for Tuz, the best partner I can be for Mahal, the best I can be for my clients. Everything else has to wait its turn based on its relative importance.

That’s what happened to me this first two months of the year, hence, my absence here and on my Facebook page and other social media accounts. To summarize: Continue reading

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Adjusting to Rural Living – Rants of a City Girl Turned Farm Girl at 11 in the Evening

It’s been raining hard the past couple of days… good for our crops… kinda bad for me. We can’t go back (yet) to the city.

The original plan was for me and Tuz to stay in our tiny city pad with all the conveniences of modern living. I have strong wifi there, Tuz and I can watch movies on the big screen, we can have food delivered or even go out late at night to eat at my favorite food place in the city, there’s a fridge at home, a microwave, a washing machine and of course an air conditioner (although the temperature here at the farm is way cooler). Then that day after Mahal made LBC deliveries for Mushroom Chili Paste and Mushroom Langka Jam orders and came home, he waited for me to wake up. I was actually expecting him to be gone already by the time I wake up so it’d be easier for me to not miss him. But he couldn’t leave yet. He said he was already missing us so much. So we spent time just talking… and hugging… and kissing… an hour passed… two… three… I was on the brink of tears knowing that he needed to go back to the farm soon since the plants have been all alone with no one to take care of them for 5 whole days already at that time.

Then Mahal said: “Sama ka na!” (Come with me!)

Continue reading

house-transfer

The Big Move Part I

I’ve never been so tired my entire life!

Age is a factor, I suppose. After all, I am 39 and will be turning 40 come Feb. and I am not as fit as I used to be. Although I wanted to, just as soon as I find time again in between organizing my life and taking care of baby Tuz. For now, I am good with 10-minute home exercises I follow on Youtube.

I thought when baby Tuz was an infant, that was the most physically tired (and depressed) I was, not having much sleep, waking up every few hours to breastfeed, nursing a painful (albeit healing) C-section. But I think, with everything I am feeling inside my body right now  — joints and bones aching, tummy aches from eating bad food, eyes feeling hot from disturbed sleep, headaches due to not being able to sleep 8 hours straight, back aches and the usual aches and pains that people nearing their 40’s experience, plus the psychological effect brought about by not being in my element (will explain this later), I guess all these things combined together make me feel the way I do now. Continue reading