happy sunbathing

An Epilogue To My COVID-19 Nervous Breakdown

I must admit that the previously growing anxiety inside of me since the emergence of Coronavirus has hampered my productivity and creativity levels. I mean aside from my own work, motherly tasks and house chores which are the only productive things I do these days, I haven’t done anything else. Before, I was also busy with other things like:

– continuous marketing for Tuscany Highlands and Training Workshops CDO.
– I was actively reading my books and attending online courses I bought.
– I blogged and I did my journal
– I did creative things like making designs for our future home.
– I concocted marketing strategies for Tuscany Highlands
– I planned future family travels, family projects and what-not.

But since this deadly coronavirus emerged and wreaked havoc on every nation, I found myself operating on survival mode: WORK. TAKE CARE OF TUZ. DO HOUSE CHORES. REPEAT. WORK. TAKE CARE OF TUZ. DO HOUSE CHORES. REPEAT.

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suicide-and-depression

Suicide and Depression – What to Do?

Do you know anyone suffering from thoughts of suicide and depression? I was reading an article from The Asian Parent about a local celebrity, Nadine Lustre, and her letter to her brother who recently passed away due to suicide when all of a sudden I found myself crying.

My own brother, about 15 years ago, almost took his own life right in front of me by stabbing his chest with a knife and I guess the article just brought back many of those dark memories. He is quite okay now, a dad of 2 kids with a 3rd baby on the way and living with his second life partner. From time to time, he still expresses sadness and depression about his first failed relationship and has had major outbursts of anger and depression, but overall, he is much better now.

I myself, dealt with major feelings of depressions and thoughts of suicide growing up. I had severe teenage angst, anxiety and panic attacks due to the pressure I was put into by my grandparents to consistently be on top of my class that carried well over into my adulthood, which I think contributed to the demise of my first marriage. While I’ve been so much better at handling negative emotions since I’ve been with my current partner of 3 years now, I must admit that it’s just lately that feelings of depression started settling in again.
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