how to decide what you want

HOW TO DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT

I’m now on the 28th day of my very own self-imposed 30-day blog post challenge which also propelled me to restart doing other things I love and one of those things is reading my books, particularly Jack Canfield’s The Success Principles.

I already mentioned before that I bought this book in 2009. I started reading it and finished a few chapters, then life happened and before I know it, years have passed and I haven’t continued reading the book. So I started reading it again from Chapter 1. And now, I’m already on Chapter 31. Yey!

Below are my blog posts about Jack Canfield’s Success Principles so far:

Today’s blog post will be about Jack Canfield’s 3rd success principle: HOW TO DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT.

Just to remind myself, here’s how it is to be on purpose:

To be “on purpose” means you’re doing what you love to do, doing what you’re good at and accomplishing what’s important to you. When you truly are on purpose, the people, resources, and opportunities you need gravitate toward you. The world benefits, too, because when you act in alignment with your true life purpose, all of your actions automatically serve others.

In my last post about success principles, I mentioned that:

My purpose is to use my optimism and industry to support and inspire others to become happy, successful, healthy and wealthy in their respective lives.

Prior to writing that blog post, I honestly didn’t know, or at least, I couldn’t really verbalize what my purpose was. I have so many interests, so many wants, so many things in my everyday to-do list! After I published that blog post on how to be clear why am I here, I finally got a clearer view, a better perspective on my life. And when you are clear about your purpose, what comes next is deciding what you really want.

 

So what do YOU really want?

Here’s what I wrote on top of page 25 of Jack Canfield’s book when I answered the phrase DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT:

I want to be comfortable and happy. So what makes me comfortable and happy? Hmmm…

  1.  a job/career I love
  2. blogging
  3. taking care of our home
  4. traveling
  5. reading
  6. watching movies

I wrote these things a long time ago… last August 2009 to be precise. Looking back…, let us double check that again:

  1. a job/career I love … CHECK!
  2. blogging … CHECK!
  3. taking care of our home … CHECK!
  4. traveling … CHECK!
  5. reading … CHECK!
  6. watching movies … CHECK! 

And now, at present time, at this very day, my answers are mostly still the same plus some more bits in them:

  1. a job/career I love (I’ve been a VA/Virtual Assistant) for 10 years and 3 months now. If that ain’t a career, I don’t know what is. Lol!)
  2. blogging (I’ve been keeping up with my daily blogging for almost 30 days now, yey! And I plan to continue to do so even after my self-imposed 30-day blogging challenge)
  3. taking care of our home  (I now have 3 homes to take care of: my house in Alabang which I am renting out to foreign nationals; our tiny pad down the mountains which we are renting here in Mindanao; our simple farmhouse in the mountains which used to be Mahal’s childhood home)
  4. traveling (Need I say more? Traveling is my first love! I’ve been traveling since I was 6 years old and it seems like I never really stopped)
  5. reading (I am a bookworm in case it’s not yet so obvious on this blog coz I only have a few book reviews published here so far. I’ll publish more as days/months/years go by)
  6. watching movies (This is one of the things that is sacrificed ever since I started farming / growing vegetables. Mahal and I only get to watch movies before we sleep and even then, we seldom finish the movie anymore because we’re already so tired from all the enjoyable work we did the whole day.)
  7. farming (This is my rekindled love. I now look forward everyday to growing seeds, making seedlings, doing cuttings, rooting my cuttings, taking care of my plants, harvesting vegetables and herbs, etc. I am so thankful that we are now living the kind of farm life that I have always dreamed of when I was just a little kid.)
  8. making soaps and crafts (These are two hobbies and passions of mine that I’d like to get back to as soon as I get the flow of things at the farm and as soon as I find a local supplier for my soap ingredients.)
  9. cooking (This has already been a part of my routine at home and I plan to bring it to the next level in the future when we do set up our own cafe where I’ll be offering my dish inventions… I say inventions coz I cook from the heart and I don’t follow any recipe. I make my own recipe. Hihihi.)

On page 26, Jack wrote:

“In the name of being sensible, we end up becoming numb to our own desires. There are too many layers of “shoulds”, “ought to’s” and “you’d better’s” piled on top of and suffocating what we really want. So how do you reclaim yourself and your true desires? How do you get back to what you really want with no fear, shame, or inhibition? How do you reconnect with your real passion? You start on the smallest level by honoring your preferences in every situation — no matter how large or small. Don’t think of them as petty. They might be inconsequential to someone else, but they are not to you.”

Wow, this is what I have been doing all throughout those months that I haven’t been blogging here and I didn’t even realize it until now! For instance, when I get invited to parties or outings and meetups, go-sees/ VTRs (my agent still texts me from time to time just in case I’m back in Manila for acting gigs), events, weddings, etc., I follow my gut feel, I follow my preference. I quiet the voices of “shoulds”, “you’d better’s” and “ought to’s” in my head and decide based on what I really, really want right at that moment. Most of the time, I decline these invitations and just stay home to do my own thing coz that’s my preference… coz that’s where I am happiest. So maybe, I’m doing a good job after all.

 

STOP SETTLING FOR LESS THAN WHAT YOU WANT.

Jack said that not being clear about what we want and prioritizing other people’s needs and desires is simply a habit and we can break it by practicing the opposite. Moreover, we should make an “I want list”. Preferably, 30 things we want to have and want to do before we die. As for me, knowing how flighty and impulsive I can get sometimes, I will narrow it down for now on what I want to accomplish until the end of this year which is related to that same list above.

By doing this, making the list, that is, we are creating a “global positioning system” for ourselves. Meaning, once we clarify and stay focused with our vision (work, finances, recreation, health, relationships, personal goals, contribution to the larger community, etc.) the exact steps will keep appearing along the way.

 

DON’T LET ANYONE TALK YOU OUT OF YOUR VISION

To help us with our vision, it helps to visualize the things that we want. Paint a clear mental picture in our head of how we want all these aspects of our life to be. I remember when I was a little kid, I keep daydreaming about myself living in a pretty house, with glass doors surrounded by beautiful stuff. And O-M-G! That’s what happened! I lived in my first dream home (my Alabang house) for ten years from 29-39 years old. This is one proof that active visualization really works!

Lastly, Jack Canfield wrote that in order to get the maximum impact of our wants and desires, we need to share it. Another O-M-G! Isn’t this what I have been doing all this time, blogging about it, sharing it to my social network, telling my friends about it?! Jack said: “You’ll find that when you share your vision, some people will want to help you make it happen.”

I believe, in a way, I have this chapter down pat. Now, I can graduate and move on to the next level.

So, how about you? What do you want?

Til my next post! ^_^

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