On October 30, 2021, about 14 months ago, even before Mahal and I got formally engaged, we faced a lot of trials in our relationship. We actually fought and broke up a few times and Tuz was there to witness it all.
We didn’t mean for our young son to see our fights at that time because we always did our best to be careful. But he is such a perceptive and sensitive kid that even if Mahal and I are not shouting, Tuz can recognize the differences in our verbal tones and non-verbal expressions.
It’s a good thing that the stormy season in our relationship has passed and we are now in a much, much better place. Because of those fights, Mahal and I learned to communicate better, love each other better, and Tuz witnessed all of that too. Perhaps that is why he is such a happy boy who acts and thinks more maturely for his age.
Anyway, this video that I am sharing with you here is my raw conversation with Tuz at that time. Mahal and I just patched things up and I wanted to document how it affected our 6 year old boy. (Actually, he was just 5 but would be turning 6 in 17 days at that time, so I just rounded it off, hihi!)
MY TAKEAWAY
This video is an eye opener for me and Mahal, and for all parents out there — that no matter how careful we are at not letting our kids witness our fights with our partners, it will always have an effect on them. They are very sensitive and perceptive. I should know. I’ve witnessed my parents fight so many times growing up, and I must admit that it did have a negative impact on me. Hence, my becoming a mother at such a late age. I never wanted to have kids because I don’t want to hurt them the way I was emotionally hurt by my parents’ fights when I was little.
And so, we will never really know what that effect our fights might have on our kids… could be good, could be bad, could be worse. But I think being able to talk to our children about it, about how it affects and/or affected them will help alleviate whatever insecurity or negative emotions it brought to them. And of course, all they want and need from us is the affirmation that we will always love them no matter what and that it’s never ever their fault.
Luckily, Mahal and I have patched things up quickly at that time and we’ve vowed to communicate better and love each other better, hence, getting engaged.
You can check out my engagement posts below:
More updates on my next posts…. 😉
MomTraNeur - The Self-Help Mommy 
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